Every year, the holiday season descends upon us, and we must choose how we want to engage. When the holiday is not associated with a special enough memory or an unhappy memory, we may tell ourselves this holiday is not important to us. On the other hand, if the memory is positive, we commit ourselves to fully enjoying the celebration. So much of our “holiday experience,” comes from the built-in characteristics we’ve assigned to it. But can we, as adults, change that?
Recently, we celebrated Diwali, a week-long holiday, most comparable in importance (in Hinduism) to Christmas and New Year’s here. It a celebration of good over evil, light over darkness. There are many books and articles written about it (see links at end of the post). Rather than repeat their work, I’d like to share my own changing experience with this holiday.
Connecting to Festive Fun
Growing up in America, my family celebrated Diwali, but we celebrated Christmas with much more festivity and fanfare. Subsequently, many Indian people referred to kids from my generation as “ABCD”, American Born Confused Desi (a term for Indian person), because our identities, culture, religion, and language were so comingled inside an American world that we were, presumably, confused.
But the truth is, I prefer American Born Comprehensive Desi! I was raised Hindu but attended Catholic elementary school, later moved to a primarily Jewish neighborhood, and then moved into one of the most diverse counties in the country, in Texas! And that doesn’t cover all the distinct cultures within the U.S. (each city/state has its own) for all the places I’ve lived.
So, was it culture, tradition, or circumstance that held Diwali in a different place in my heart than Christmas? Well, for one thing, as a kid, I did not get a day off for Diwali. All the holiday advertising I saw did not mention anything about Diwali. The holiday was insular to a small community but not shared by most of the kids in my school.
But that is changing.
Now, during the auspicious week, non-Indian people will wish me Happy Diwali. Newspapers carry articles about local celebrations and schools ask children how they celebrate the holiday. Today, two of my friends told me that in their kids’ school districts, the kids get a day off. Diwali fireworks are now available at Costco. All three (our current and last two) U.S. Presidents (of both political parties) have all thrown Diwali parties while in office. Plus, my iPhone gives me fireworks animation every time I text someone, “Happy Diwali!”
Many of us fill in the gaps, left in our childhood, to expand this holiday in a fresh, meaningful way. Some host festive get-togethers, while feasting on holiday sweets and lighting candles. Others re-awaken old traditions, doing a rangoli (an elaborate design made with colored powder), at home or even reading Diwali books with their children.
Creating Cozy Holidays
During the last few years, because of local Hindu friends, I have come to deeply enjoy Diwali. I love it because you can wear colors like majestic purples, eye-popping fuchsias, bright mustards, and resplendent reds. But also, I love our family tradition of going to the temple, doing a puja (religious ceremony) at home, and meeting with acquaintances and friends.
For me, Diwali now encircles all new meanings: friendship, community, and celebration whereas Christmas connects to decorating the house, relishing decadent foods, and family coming home for the holidays (remember the Folgers ads in the ’80s?) because they do.
Every year, these religious holidays come filled with their own meanings. Thankfully, and kudos to my parents for this… I’ve never thought of religion as a special club, something to fear, or be guilted by. But rather like a warm blanket – pulling me into something bigger with an inviting sense of community and camaraderie.
Whatever our reasons may be… to truly immerse ourselves in the holidays, we have to shed old experiences, everything we have, or haven’t been taught, to develop a new connection. As an adult, I appreciate my own journey with both my family and my friends in celebrating Diwali. In doing so, I’ve learned that new traditions, giving rise to new meaning, can begin at any age!
Articles
Children’s Books
So glad you are back to your blogs. Especially this one–helps me reflect on the upcoming holidays with the joy that it brings. I haven’t been looking forward to Chistmas as it holds some sadness now since my brother’s passing. But maybe I just need to shed my old expectations about what Christmas will be and make a new connection to the holiday. At least give it a try…..
That’s the best that any of us can do. Thank you for reading it!