Why Bother Having A Desire?

Why Bother Having A Desire?

I have had the pleasure of “putting things out there,” that then come to fruition. But it’s hard to remember where you were when you first “put it out there.”

How the desire then was sweet and satisfying. How it thrilled you to think about it. How it was enough, in just the thought. How that thought alone could make you smile, could bring you to a happy place, could cajole you into instantly feeling good.

We take for granted things that we wanted and accomplished. We are not wooed by the person we used to be for having had such a brillant thought. We do not even recall how back then, the things that we once thought were unachievable. But every now and then we are reminded by our own power.

Earlier this week, I drifted back to old words that I had written. Five years ago, almost to the date, I wrote that I would love to win a prize for writing.

So simple a request. So delicious. So far away. So, “out there.” Just an idea budding with no form or shape at all.

Back then, I had started writing simple words of the day. Started on a whim, but I was still unsure. I was still finding my voice.

And yet I remember the feeling, the simple request to the Universe, the desire to want to be the type of writer whose work is appreciated, acknowledged, and read. It’s a desire that all writers have, to be read. For someone else to read the creative madness that spins sometimes day and night cataloging everything, analyzing everything, and then finding invisible words for a tactile world, and hoping, fingers crossed, that something, somewhere resonates with someone outside of themselves.

And today, looking back at that innocent request from five years ago, the journey I took I could never have predicted. To be writing screenplays. And to have in my name, more than a dozen awards for screenwriting. To see the desire come to fruition. To feel the satisfaction of it. To be thrilled in the quiet joy of it.

It doesn’t matter what you desire. It doesn’t matter how big or small or unlikely it is. It doesn’t even matter if you get it in 5 minutes, 5 years, or 5 decades. What matters is that you know that every thought has a purpose and that purpose is to help layout the road in front of your life. And in that, is the magic. In that, we are alive.

They tell us in writing screenplays, each character must have a want in every scene to drive the story forward. What’s yours? For this afternoon, for today, for this month, for this year? Where is your road taking you…? What seeds are you planting?

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