Give yourself (and maybe your family) a gift for the holidays… this year more than any other year, you have the opportunity to be less uptight than you normally are.
Hallelujah! Rejoice!
We don’t always mean to be uptight, but we correlate that approach to what is necessary for the high standards tied to success. Especially when we’re in the throes of our day or lost in the mire of a project, and then an innocent suggestion, even presented as a joke, causes us to cast a glare. This seriousness (our uptightness) follows the vein of “working hard,” and “a sense of duty,” and there’s nothing funny about it.
My own “sense of duty” stemmed from being the oldest of four siblings (“being in charge”), evolving to a career in management (“being in charge”), to eventually becoming a natural planner, an advisor, and… a control freak that can be uptight.
When you feel like you’ve had enough of being in charge of everything including keeping Planet Earth suspended in the sky and free of raging meteors, follow these steps below:
To be less uptight, I MUST:
Phase I
Give up Control
With the best of intentions, a control freak wants to do the right thing to have things go according to plan… her plan, for the entire universe. It’s not sustainable, so just let it go. It may not feel like you, but you’ll survive. (You’ll even be shocked that the sun does not fall out of the sky without your focused attention on it. People will survive without you answering your phone at dinner. And kids will live even if they watch TV for more than an hour.)
Stop Judgment
Whenever or whatever you’re thinking about a situation or the repercussions of your laissez-faire attitude, what other people think, or what should be done, simply stop. Drop all thoughts that make you feel bad. They’re not necessary.
Embrace Ease
Let out that deep exhale and go with the flow. Fall into a leisurely mood and tumble inside it. Think of it as a ride where you have no control how fast the roller coaster is going or where it’s going. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Phase II
Become Mindful
Think about the moment you’re living in and take a nice deep breath and feel the air going into your lungs. Clear out your mind like you’re cleansing your palate between wines in a wine tasting. Smell coffee or something else that brings you to the present. Stay here.
Welcome Every Moment
Look forward to it. Expect good things. Be the sailor on the lookout for joy in every port and the open sea as your day unfurls.
Accept What Happens
This one is big. Learning to be less uptight means not only allowing things to happen as they would but accepting what comes along without losing your mind. Nothing is ever as bad as your first assessment. Accept that every cloud has a silver lining. Once you relax from being uptight, you will see it.
Learn to Laugh
We all take ourselves and the world too seriously. Back off, back down, and imagine you’re in your own comedy movie instead. How would the main comedic actor react in your situation? Live there. Smile a lot. Get a massage. (Dancing helps too)
Trust. (where all roads lead)
You don’t have to hold up the Earth or make your heart beat on time. It’s a fair bet that other things can work out just as easily if you can relax about them.
Being uptight may be a natural reaction for you but it’s a choice to want to be less uptight. No one is telling you how you should act or react but you. Accept the responsibility and decide what you want to do. Being perfect, efficient, and purposeful all the time is way too stressful. There are occasions where we need to embody these highly valued traits but there’s also a time to take a chill pill too.
If you can dare to dream to live in a realm that is unhurried, free, and easy-going… being less uptight will make you happier too. It eases unnecessary tensions allowing for better relationships with others (particularly helpful during the holidays).
Plus, it also allows for deeper and more honest engagement when we are not so worried about the “doing the next right thing,” but rather going with the flow and inviting the Universe to keep things interesting. Besides, considering the year we’ve had, we’ve all earned it!
~ Roopal Badheka
Supporting:
To relax physically from your uptightness, follow this link for Conscious Breathing and Sounding from my friend.