Like other pivotal moments in history, we will remember this time. As we evaluate current events, are we showing our empathy or embracing our callousness?
Years from now when we share our stories, these are the questions that our kids and grand-kids will ask: How did you feel then? Were you empathetic? Did you try to understand?
We must be prepared for our answer.
Begin at Home
The irony of callousness is that it starts at home.
In this time of living with our families and loved ones 7×24, we hear every thought out loud. Every annoyance, issue, or complaint is louder, exacerbated by our continual proximity.
When someone calls your name and instantly, you know something is wrong. And then, our mind silently protests: Oh no, not today! I don’t have time for your attitude /complaint /objection /tantrum today. I have things that I have to do.
Even before hearing the nature of their concern, we have decided how we feel and it has nothing to do with them. Even worse, we’ve wholly dismissed how they are feeling.
But if someone else said those same words? How would we have reacted?
If they were said by our favorite coach, favorite movie star, politician, leader, mentor, friend, our reaction might be quite different.
When they said, I’m having an issue with…, we might hang on their every word. When they echoed their troubles, we would care enough to listen first before reacting, acknowledging their plight. Using empathy, we might feel their heartache. Using reasoning, we might address their concerns. If within our power, we may even fix their problem outright.
Caring is the foundational step from which all other tasks can be accomplished. Without it, words fall on deaf ears.
Room for Growth
Callousness doesn’t start by the action of the other person. It comes from our own reaction to them. Once solidified, it becomes a behavior that is an instant (practiced) reaction.
Every time we’ve dismissed someone having problems by saying this is not my problem, our empathy has dropped down a notch. When we’ve reacted before hearing, our indifference has won. When we judged from afar, our heartlessness has gained strength.
As a country, we’ve calcified our penchant for callousness as if their words were never even spoken.
But it’s not too late.
Empathy is a skill no different than any other. One, it must be taught, and two, it is a choice. By embracing higher consciousness, we can embody empathy and hopefully drop callousness as the human attribute that died in the early part of the 21st century.
Both at home, and out in the world, we can flip the switch. We can’t fix the world overnight and we can’t change how others behave but we can look at little closer at ourselves and temper our reactions differently.
We can care.
And in that way, we can one day look back and be proud of our choices, our actions, and our words in creating history too.