We’ve all seen the pictures that depict two illusions simultaneously. One of the most famous is the “Boring Figure,” also known as, “My Wife and My Mother-in-Law.” Supposedly, your state of mind will reflect who you see first, the younger woman or the older one. But after a shift of perspective, you can see the other figure.
I’ve always been intrigued by those concepts that seem plainly open to our eyes, and yet we can argue two sides, and see two completely different things!
If a stationary object like a photo can be interpreted, isn’t it possible that situations (ever evolving and not plainly visible) can vary also? For many of us, we spend our days going from one “situation,” to another, sometimes caught in an illusion of what we perceive, but in fact, one shift of perspective could change everything.
It’s true. All of life is subjective.
Our experiences, the day we are having, our current mood, the last bit of news we heard ~ all of those elements imprison our thinking in a place from where we frame everything. Each situation is an opportunity to wear our own glasses. Those glasses can be rose colored, and we can imagine the best outcomes, or they can be dark and hazy, and we can imagine the worst.
Despite knowing this, when I need it most, when the chips appear down, it’s hard to wake myself up to remember that my perception can affect my outlook/outcome. Thus, I have to manually remind myself that all of life is subjective & regroup my thoughts.
Here’s a few tips on how to do that:
1. Step back from the judgment.
Natural circumstances and life have taught us, if I want “situation x”, and I don’t get “x,” that’s bad. Pull back the layers of judgment to get to a more neutral view of the situation. This is hard but worth the effort.
2. Remember the Aha moment.
Now, that judgment is silenced, I need to remember that I have the power to frame this experience in any way that I want because everything that happens in life has a perspective, and right now, it’s my subjective view of it that is troubling me. I need to let that go.
3. Shift your perspective.
Now that I know that (again), I am deciding that this situation is the best one for me right now. I start to look at it that way.
4. Welcome your new view of the situation.
That means, there is an alternate perspective, “y,” that exists. So now, I must start to get excited about getting “y” even though I may not know “y” exists or what it might be.
5. Trust in yourself.
This is training my mind. The more I remember that I have the power to re-frame every situation, the easier life becomes. This power allows me to be better accepting of not receiving “x,” but more importantly, realizing (eventually) that for me, “situation y,” was actually the best outcome (that I did not foresee). I always trust that the outcomes presented are the best for me.
All that said, I’ve spent plenty of hours sulking around as to why I didn’t get what I wanted. I complain (incessantly). I get upset. I get frustrated. All of those normal, human reactions ensue. And some of those times, my inability to get out of the frustration spirals the situation from bad to worse.
Our perspective frames our reality. Every time, and in both directions. The idea is to stop our subjective nature and instant judgment of every situation run roughshod over our thinking.
Next time, when something happens that you don’t want to have happened, try to remember that where you stand today is one perspective, one view, one analysis of the situation; and then take back the control.
Earlier this week, I read a quote in a blog by Michael Neill that best sums up this outlook: “I never solve extremely difficult problems. If I find a problem is too difficult, I know I’m looking at it wrong.”
Above all, always remember to adjust your glasses! Rather than thinking of rose colored or dark glasses, think of the glasses you wear as clear. And then actively choose the tint through which you want to see things flow. Once you look at what happened as something bad –> neutral –> positive, a better outcome is there for the reaching. Find it.
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