With all the resources that we have immediate access to today, our lives should blow away even our imaginations. We’ve admired people whose lives do, yet somehow convince ourselves that they are special. They are more intelligent, more connected, luckier, smarter, etc. But here’s the truth: we have the capacity to exceed our imaginations every time, but we handcuff ourselves.
Unshackle yourself and you’ll paint a new life for yourself – as colorful as you can imagine. Are you guilty of holding yourself back from your maximum potential? Let’s see:
1. Do you second guess yourself?
All of us are notorious of this act. Somehow we’ve deduced that over-thinking solves every problem. Even once we decide, we consider and re-consider all sorts of scenarios. There are times to consider all options, but when you have a strong inkling to do something, follow through. In those cases, each time we over-think, we lose our sense of gut direction – that visceral feeling deep inside compelling us to act.
At times, a decision can feel “right,” despite being illogical. You know yourself and your intuitive guidance. Let it lead you. And once you’ve made the decision, accept, believe, & know that it IS right for you. Don’t second guess – TRUST instead. (P.S. Time is a secret weapon. Give yourself less time with decisions, and you’ll over-think less.)
2. Are you afraid to shine (because of others)?
Other times, despite knowing what to do, we pull back deliberately because we don’t want to out-shine others in our circle (whether they are parents, siblings, spouses, friends). We understand the ramifications of certain decisions and how they may upset the relationship balance. It may change peoples’ perceptions of us. It may challenge who they may assume we are.
But we cannot live our best life by toning down our light. We can’t dull it down to satisfy other’s insecurities. By doing so, we hold back on our success and our happiness. There is a theory that postulates that there is no private good. Everything that is good for you is also beneficial for those around you in ways we cannot anticipate. You can never know how your success can inspire and influence those around you to pursue theirs!
3. Are you terrified of risk?
Our career, our reputation, our family, our future – all things that we cannot risk. At current point A, we have tremendous control. Point B may be exciting and bold, but it may carry inherent risk. We may unwilling to take those risks. Again, this is where our gut can guide us.
Sometimes we can feel in our gut that moving forward is the right answer despite the risk. Other times, we know the risk is too great and we can leverage that guidance to think creatively to how to get to point B without that risk.
Either way, risk-taking is a learned skill. Practice it by taking risks in other areas (that are less threatening). Once you acknowledge your own ability to “handle” things, taking risks in different areas will be easier.
4. Are you afraid to succeed?
Unbelievably, we also temper our light because we are afraid of our own success. We embrace self-imposed limitations. That fear often comes from the idea of change. “If I do x, then y will happen, and I am not ready for y.” But ironically, change can force circumstances upon us, and we would handle it just fine. We are stronger than we realize, and more capable than we know. Fear is an excuse, not a reason.
Fear hides in the comfort of the status quo. Ask yourself– Is your fear of failure greater than your love for the status quo? What if nothing in your life ever changed? Then, listen for the answer. And again, trust, and then engage in the process. Growth requires at least some effort. This next way is a minimum requirement.
5. Do you have a vision?
These days in the treadmill of life, we rarely have time to ponder where we are going, and where we want to go. But there is no road to getting to “x” without your vision for it.
What is your best vision for your life? Can you paint that picture in your mind?
Just like most successful companies do… you must have a clear vision for the future. That is the first step. Every minute you can spend thinking about it is one more way that you can expand your current reality (even if it appears unchanged in your view). Over time, reality will shift closer to your vision. But it is powerless without a vision.
A road to an extraordinary life takes a combination of a clear vision, eagerness, desire, self-worth, with the ability to handle risk. Once you can do these things, your awesomeness is guaranteed!
Last week, I read this quote (from Tim Ferris’ Friday bullets). I thought it was terrifying as our phones impede our imagination (constantly). See if you agree…
“Old George Orwell got it backward. Big Brother isn’t watching. He’s singing and dancing. He’s pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother’s busy holding your attention every moment you’re awake. He’s making sure you’re always distracted. He’s making sure you’re fully absorbed. He’s making sure your imagination withers. Until it’s as useful as your appendix. He’s making sure your attention is always filled. And this being fed, it’s worse than being watched. With the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what’s in your mind. With everyone’s imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world.”
— Chuck Palahniuk
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