The other day, after waiting for 10 minutes, I lost my temper. Like an epiphany, this burst of emotions shed light on the fact that I have become exceedingly impatient in my day to day interactions. I opted to take an online quiz to confirm this hypothesis but didn’t have the patience to answer the questions. Huh, that’s telling.
Once upon a time, I had to wait for a dial-up connection… for five whole minutes. Try meditating for that long so you can remember what an eternity that can be!
THE KEYS TO THE FERRARI
Everything in today’s online world is about speed. Buy products with one-click. Receive them in the mail almost as fast. Hear about news as soon as it happens. And even order and pay for our coffee so there is no wait when we arrive at Starbucks.
Do we even remember the days when paying a bill meant (1) buying stamps at the post office, (2) buying envelopes at a store, (3) writing a check from your checkbook, (4) putting the whole thing together, and (5) then going to the mailbox? Now, it’s pay online = 1 step. And then set the whole process to automatic, and you’re left with no steps.
And with every quickening step, our level of patience drops one more notch.
TEST DRIVING THE FERRARI
I used to go to a book store and buy a physical book. Might take me a week to make time to get there, browse, and make a purchase but that’s what it took. And then I received a Kindle as a gift. Reluctantly, I relented.
On my first attempt, I was able to browse, select, and receive delivery of a book in 90 seconds or less. I became a kid in a candy store. Desire instantly fulfilled.
I easily relinquished the joy of holding a single, firm, fresh physical book in lieu of a vast & odorless electronic library-on-demand in my hands. After all, one week is not the same as 90 seconds. Who needs patience?
THE FERRARI RULES
Now, I expect all companies to deliver at the speed of Amazon. I expect all technology to handle my new requests as quickly and efficiently as I can download a new song.
I don’t exercise patience anymore, I just drive the Ferrari faster. I don’t watch ads on television, I DVR, and forward past them. Even when a class/program is on-demand, I don’t have the patience for introductions. I quickly skip past them to get to the heart of the content.
Presentation too slow? No worries, I can accelerate the speed of the video. When the internet is slow, I increase my internet bandwidth. How dare I have to wait? Everything can be resolved and should be… immediately.
WARNING: CRASH AHEAD
All this instant gratification has led to an increased anxiety. Rather than allowing more time for peace (because I saved time everywhere else!), the evolution of technology has exacerbated my patience problem.
This speedy world’s domination has led to a demise of patience, and now waiting for 10 minutes anywhere is enough to test my patience to its limits. There must be a way to regain patience but how?
HOW CAN I BECOME MORE PATIENT?
No time for research, instead I googled, and 15 seconds later, I had a slew of well-meaning articles to help fix my problem. Or just a jumble of information.
From those articles, these were the proposed ways to increase patience that I most disliked, and thus are probably worthwhile to consider.
- Embrace the uncomfortable – allow yourself to accept things that are uncomfortable but not ultimately intolerable.
- Use deep breathing to calm down.
- Slow down. If you are feeling rushed by too many things to do, stop, breathe, re-assess. Focus on one thing, then the next, then the next.
- Practice gratitude.
- Figure out your triggers and de-stabilize them. Calm them down as soon as they start to pop up. If the trigger is someone/something disrespecting your time, then walk away and re-assess. Are they really doing this to you?
- Re-frame your perspective. Is this situation worth the absolute annihilation that you feel?
- Question yourself: Why am I in such a hurry? Do I even know? If I were just a few minutes late… is all the stress I am feeling worth it?
Another technique I’ve learned is that when my patience starts to fade, I give myself a time-out. I take a few minutes to walk, meditate or just be still. If it’s excess energy, I walk, work out or do something to give that energy somewhere else to go.
Patience doesn’t come instantly so until Amazon, Google, or Apple re-invent it, we are on our own. Until then, at least upgrade your internet speed or buy a faster car!