“Busy” is a badge of honor.
Admit it. We all fall into the trap of wanting to be more, do more, and satisfy more. By staying busy, we soothe those requirements. But in exchange, we tax ourselves.
Instead, hone a skill that few have yet to adopt and even fewer know to crave. Decide to live more simply by following two principles: (1) to opt out and (2) to focus on the self. By actively managing both, you embrace a proactive approach to reducing complexity in your life!
OPTING OUT
Living by the sound of a beep, ding, envelope, or some other notification is deeply disruptive to a focused mind at work. Turn off social media and email notifications! Instead, approach these at a designated time of your choosing vs. when the notification pops up.
Similarly, opt out of email subscriptions that no longer add value instead of manually deleting them each time. Clean up and unsubscribe from at least one a day.
Responses & relationships are necessary but when they start to interfere out of “obligation,” you’ve lost your focus. In groups (office or social), a collective mentality prevails. Being part of the group dictates when you must follow along. Every now and then, break away.
Learn to say “no.” By prioritizing the quality of your interactions over the quantity, folks can welcome the more engaged version of you instead of the puppet that is always running on empty from obligation to obligation. This level of “selfishness” can actually improve relationships because you are 100% focused during an interaction.
And don’t forget to opt out of guilt. Guilt is a bully! For momentous events, you will want to do them and not have a sense of “I should,” do this. This distinction makes all the difference. A sense of genuine desire vs. obligatory engagement brings authenticity & immediately improves any outcome.
To opt out means ~
Opt out of unnecessary email subscriptions.
Disable visual and auditory email & social media notifications.
Limit non-productive group commitments, social and/or familial obligations.
Learn the word “no.”
Dismiss the guilt that coincides with “should.”
FOCUSING ON THE SELF
It IS all about you ~ therefore being selfish is not a strike against you but 100% in your favor. Tackle what’s important to you every single day.
Answering email is the process of prioritizing other people’s priorities over your own. Instead, pursue your top three daily goals and act on them before your smartphone wakes up. This single action will make you incredibly effective, efficient, and borderline magical.
Establish your goals every morning or evening, whatever works best. It’s nice to have 1-2 monthly goals too of an inspirational nature: read that book, attend a seminar, try that class. To gain clarity on those objectives, hijack time from your schedule.
Seek out tranquility. If you are not used to spending time alone (without a device), start now. Having that time to reflect will stretch your mind beyond just auto-pilot goal setting.
Waiting (in a conference room, a doctor’s office, or in traffic) is prime time for solitary thinking. Sit & do nothing, take a walk, or meditate. Stop your thoughts or listen to your thoughts for a change. Doing this will give you a greater appreciation for yourself & your own needs.
Sometimes the silence can provoke daydreaming…an idea, a fleeting thought. You may be driven to follow something that peaks your interests, just because. Go with the flow. Distractions are known to inspire and help cultivate a new way of thinking. If your intuition beckons you to do something, listen & wait for the unexpected.
To focus on the self means ~
Know your priorities.
Go device-less.
Practice solitude.
Welcome distractions.
Being busy all the time promotes a reactionary state of mind. Instead, consider what % of your day is spent being reactive to your surroundings vs. proactive to your needs, and then challenge yourself to improve that metric.
Simplicity shines from a single voice ~ yours. Fine tuning into this channel will yield a better understanding of your needs, an improvement to your relationships, and greater success of your endeavors. Isn’t that worth a little “selfishness?”