Several years ago, through an acquaintance, I met a life coach, who offered to have a discussion with me.
I chuckled at the thought, going on to profess, ”I’ve got a good job, am happy in my marriage, my boss isn’t great…but not terrible, I drive a decent car and my week-ends are the same as everyone else’s…a plethora of family activities… I don’t need a life coach…I’m perfectly happy.”
But curiosity intervened; so I met with her, just once. She asked me, “but wouldn’t you want to be happier?” I scoffed at the thought, “wouldn’t anyone?” Life coaches are for folks having bigger issues; “I’m normal,” my ego defended.
Looking back now, if the life coach had said of my self-assessment above:
“Warning: Default setting kicking in.”
I might have listened. Or not….
In fact, I think my innate wisdom would have responded…”Look, I live in the real world…not in some New Age philosophy where I am supposed to be happy and enthused about everything.
Yes, I get that my life should be one big exciting and fulfilling adventure… but come on, really? Whose life is like that anyway? Richard Branson..? But I’m a normal person…not trying to be Richard Branson.”
Warning #2: ”Default Setting now justifying itself.”
“I mean…my parents’ lives were just like this. They had their friends, their family….my dad had his job, my mom was master of our social calendar, and we had our 1 week family vacation road trip every year. It was a good life. No one asked my dad if he was ‘motivated,’ or asked my mom if she was ‘fulfilled.’ I followed that playbook….went to college, got a good job, got married, had two kids (and a dog)…I’m good! This is life.”
Warning #3: “Acceptance dangerously close.”
Now, you get to write the ending. Will the warnings affect you enough to wake up, look in the mirror, and honestly ask yourself the question, “Am I living the “default life? Am I doing what I want to do?”
Will the warnings above inspire you to pursue greater ambitions, have bigger dreams, and start to imagine life in all its’ possibilities? Or will the easy road of “default,” be your “default life?”
Fulfilling your true destiny entails real work. Diligent efforts of determining your focus, your goals, your greatest skills & your deepest desires; it compels shielding yourselves from the anticipated fear of society’s disapprovals, the potential mocking of your colleagues as you relinquish your law firm to start an organic farm or work for a non-profit full-time.
It takes self-confidence and bravery to reject the status quo of your “default life.” It necessitates support from those you love, and those that you may not even know will someday be your greatest champions or disappointments. It may even turn your life upside down.
Rejecting the “default life,” is all that and much more. But if you never ask the question, or attempt the escape….you will never know.
Start by asking yourself…
- What do I really enjoy?
- What can motivate me to wake up unprovoked to start my day?
- What would make me more fulfilled & feel like I am moving forward with purpose?
Imagine that your daily routine did not change at all in the next 5 years…where would your life be in the next 5 years? Does the thought make you smile or cry?
Ask these questions of yourself. Remember, default settings,” are for things; our lives deserve much more. Choose to live your life instead with customized intention…!
Looking forward to reading more. Great forum. Cool. Maine
Keep up the good work- I’ve included you guys to our blogroll.
I am sure this article has touched all.