Last week, we started our list of “undefinable attributes,” of folks who embody the ethereal quality known as presence. Here is the rest of the list, along with identifying the single most important quality. Continued below:
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5. They are articulate and well spoken.
Affectation and pretension are not needed….but a thought is better expressed when it is not rushed to be spoken. Instead, it’s better for us to take a few minutes to ponder, to clarify and then to speak, articulating our choice words clearly. And by all means, limit mumbling or saying things under our breath. Even if the sentiment we want to express is lack of knowledge about an issue, let’s not be afraid of the words, “I don’t know,” but think of it an opportunity for others, who might be thinking the same thing, to learn as well.
6. They have good hygiene.
And good posture…and a firm handshake, and no nonsense stride when they first glide into the room. Even in the world of “business casual,” there are limits. Now, it does not matter if you are wearing a Hugo Boss suit or sky high Manolos…if that is what gives you an inner feeling of being unconquerable, then do it. But get the basics of good hygiene right. I had a professor in college that I’m sure was could have been brilliant but none of us could hear it because he came to class in the same smelly outfit every day, had long, greasy, unkempt hair, and mumbled incessantly while teaching.
7. They ooze confidence – the single most important quality!
Remember that confidence comes from a myriad of attributes for that moment: how we feel that day, how we are dressed, and previous interactions we had with this group, what meetings we had before (whether they were positive or negative).
All of us have moments where in the company of a certain group, our confidence wanes. For those situations, before an important meeting, presentation, or interview, it is helpful to do 2 minutes of power posing. It has been proven to create a shift in the mind that virtually echoes confidence like a loud speaker.
Amy Cuddy, Harvard Professor, has done a tremendous amount of research around several power positions – like the Wonder Woman pose (you know what it is). That position virtually oozes confidence, long after the pose, so that the residual feeling stays with you! If you are interested, feel free to watch her TED talks video.
But more than anything, we can learn to project ourselves with the intention of walking into the room like we have a right to be there, with the honest desire to hear the other persons’ perspective, and then, be in that moment fully engaged and communicative. Folks pick up on that type of interaction…and suddenly, it’s called Presence.