Or maybe even last decade. But still the illusion of that adage has lasting effects…and not the good kind.
We wear it like a badge of honor….but is that really our goal? To strive for “working so hard,” that it is at all costs?? Isn’t balance what we are really after?
Balance ironically feels like more effort because the nature of our type A personalities drive us to have an “all or nothing,” approach to life. We give it our “all,” or we feel [insert appropriate adjective here: guilty, insecure, not good enough]. Booking time for “nothing” is an oxymoron.
Even when we say we are “taking time for ourselves,” that means happy hour with the girls or meeting the guys for a drink, but sorry to say….that does not qualify as “taking time for ourselves.”
Here are a few methods I recommend:
1)15 Minute Conference Call with yourself
Put it in your calendar. Take at least 10-15 minutes for a “Recharge Session.”
Just sit there…or go for a walk. Separating yourself, from an ongoing issue for a little as 10 minutes, can open avenues to different perspectives. Get outside of the issue, making space for the resolution, instead of living “inside the problem.”
2)Taper reactions
In my early 30’s, my boss was a seasoned Senior Vice President with decades of experience. One day, I was all fired up about a situation and went to go see him.
Before I was able to go into my case with all the eloquence of a good attorney, he offered, “Let’s go walk outside and talk.”
During that time, I went on and on about my “issue.”
At the end of my rant, he asked me nonchalantly, “What were you doing on this day last year?”
I looked at him, bewildered, thinking what does this have to do with my problem?
He replied, “You have always done big and important things…what were you doing on this day last year that was big and important?”
I answered, “I don’t remember.”
“Exactly, this [issue] too will pass. Take a look around. It’s a beautiful day. Whatever you are dealing with will get resolved. And you won’t even remember it two weeks from now, let alone a year.”
We walked the rest of the way in silence.
So, ask yourself…what were you doing last year on this day? If you can’t remember, chances are that your self-generated anxiety and angst over the current issue will march into oblivion in a few short weeks.
3) Release at the end of every day
At work, every day, an array of opportunities confront you: (1) to stay annoyed at the co-worker who overshadowed your input the last meeting, (2) to hold a grudge against the guy who stole your last great idea, or (3) to resent the person, who at the last minute grabbed #1 sales spot, that was already mentally yours. But’s it your choice to hold on to it or not.
Let it go. Move on. As simple as it sounds, releasing the past can allow you to take steps in the right direction, from a more positive place. If you have to vent, get it out to one person, and then remind yourself to tell that same person a “better” story next week to break the cycle. Close out your day by releasing it all so that the rest of your week is unaffected by this dark cloud.
4) Be Self-Important (but in a different way)
You know you feel good about that corner office on a high floor or when a decision can’t be made without your input. But be self-important in a way that is really good for you by taking the time you need in the way that you need it. No excuses. No explanations necessary. You deserve it.
5) Repetition creates habit…so here you go: MEDITATE
Meditation is the ultimate self-satisfying activity. Even just 10 minutes a day has been proven to create less anxiety, reduce stress, and improve concentration. Remember, that going to a power yoga or Pilates class isn’t equivalent unless it incorporates 10 minutes of centering or mediation as part of the class.
My slight modification to the old adage: “Work for fun…and play to feel good!”
Have a great week-end,
Roopal